Most people are unaware of how they are conditioned in childhood, by parents, aunts, uncles, siblings. School, the national curricula, later; the political climate and religious views. By early puberty, you have been thoroughly exposed to the attempts of many others to make you into what they want or need you to be.

And of course, you were vulnerable. You don't get any sense of self until age 4, by which time you have been given presents reflecting the values of your family, you've been taught a language and a dialect that sets your social standing, you've probably been indoctrinated by religious belief, and you've been taught how to react to all these things. Before you're even realised you're a human being!

No wonder, then, that if the reactions to the world that you were taught were not full of confidence, were not adventurous, were not positive, you would grow up believing your shyness, your nervousness, your lack of confidence are intrinsic to your nature. But they are not, they were taught, and they were learned. Anything that was learned, anything that was conditioned, can be unlearned, unconditioned.

Welcome to the world of the confident, you too can join them. You'll have to work at it, I accept no excuses, and it will be challenging at times, but we can get you there.

I use a mixture of NLP (nero-linguistic programming) and CBT (no, cognitive behavioural therapy!!) to change your perceptions of yourself and the world, to change your reactions to your circumstances and to begin to think and behave like a confident person. Which, as soon as it becomes your natural behaviour, means that you are a confident person. And it doesn't take much more than practising a few 'tricks' until you have the hang of seeing, thinking and reacting in different ways. Simple!!

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